“The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain.”
Proverbs 31:11
X-Ray Vision.
Super speed.
Shape Shifting.
Trustworthiness.
Which one of those doesn’t belong? Three of them don’t belong, actually. That was a trick question because out of those listed, trustworthiness is the only super power that really exists. Not so sure if trustworthiness belongs in the “super power” category? Sometimes we don’t realize how valuable something is until we feel the discomfort of its absence:
- The mother’s sense of foreboding in learning her child is a skilled liar.
- The student’s hopelessness at knowing the coach won’t pick the team objectively.
- The wife’s ache upon discovering her husband’s alibi to be full of holes.
When viewed from the perspective of its absence, trustworthiness seems rather precious, wouldn’t you agree?
We know from our last post that the “Super Wife” is rare and exceedingly valuable, holding an esteemed position in God’s eyes. As we begin to study why that is, “Trustworthy” launches our list of supernaturally enabled character qualities.
Today’s verse says of this noble woman:
“The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain.”
If you join me in the desire to be an excellent wife, we must intentionally cultivate trustworthiness. The trustworthy wife is reliable, dependable and principled to such a degree that her husband has absolute confidence in her; to his very core. She is a citadel of security. A sanctuary for her man in shady world.
This trustworthiness should saturate every area of our lives but we couldn’t possibly address every realm it should touch in one post. So perhaps today you’ll join me in at least evaluating a few key areas where our husbands should find us trustworthy:
His Heart –Do I go out of my way to make him secure in my love? Do I avoid ogling or commenting on attractive actors, athletes or passers-by? Do I establish moral fences for my conduct with other men so I never give my guy reason for suspicion or insecurity? Do I speak and act and touch in ways that remind him of his preeminent position in my affections?
His Weaknesses – Do I take care never to mock his short-comings? Does he know that his weaknesses are never the subject of my outside conversations? Is he confident that his insecurities, embarrassments, and failings are guarded safely in my heart and will always be met with wisdom and grace?
My Conduct – Do I act in front of others in a manner that relaxes my husband? Does my conduct enhance his reputation and honour? Do I act in my relationships, my ministry, my job, my car, my kids’ school or sports team in such a way that I would never cause him shame or loss?
My Speech – Does he enjoy conversing with me in a group because what comes out of my mouth interests, blesses, edifies or appropriately entertains others? Does he relax when I speak because he knows that no criticism, gossip, or improprieties will cause him disgrace? Is he confident I would not post or e-mail something that would incite conflict with others? Does he rest assured that I would be discrete with confidential information – his or others’? Can he trust that my word is my word and I will do as I have said? Is he certain that I would never shade the truth in the tiniest way for convenience or self-preservation? Ever?
Our Home – Not that hubby doesn’t have his responsibilities for its care, but for my part, do I maintain, care for, clean, and organize our home in such a way that it puts my guy at ease when he walks in the door? Can he invite people home to extend biblical hospitality with joy and not embarrassment? (Not that we all wouldn’t benefit from a warning phone call…)
Our children – Can my husband rest knowing that I prioritize the shaping of our children and parent them in a way that is consistent with our joint objectives? Can he trust that our kids will receive guidance and training while they are under my care so that when they are under his, he is not left with only duty and discipline, but can delight in small harvests of the grace of God I’ve been sowing in their lives?
Our Finances – Regardless of who brings it home, can my husband trust that I will steward our financial resources with wisdom? Whether or not I am at a point in life where I can contribute actively to our family resources, am I doing all that I can to maximize our money: looking for sales, shopping at value-priced stores, preparing dinner at home, packing lunches, paying bills on time, managing routine vehicle maintenance before it becomes costly repair, saying “no” to a purchase if my family does not require it to be well cared for, and nurturing a heart of gratitude and contentment? Though there are circumstances like job loss, illness or a husband’s poor stewardship that may land a wife in financial difficulty, the question we can ask ourselves is this: “Is my family’s financial state enhanced by my contribution to it?” Whatever that contribution may be.
So how did we do friend?
If you see areas that require some attention, you’re not alone. I can easily make this list because so many of these are areas I’ve needed God’s help in over my married life. It was Martin Luther who said, “The greatest blessing…. is to have a wife to whom you may entrust your affairs.” When we are habitually trustworthy, the Bible tells us that our husbands will lack no good thing. Not just materially, but emotionally, physically, spiritually and relationally as well. And that is great news. Because do you want to know what is generally true of a man who lacks for nothing?
He looks for nothing.
And in a world that is no friend to marriage, this is a super power we’ll want to utilize.
Trust me.